A few years ago I was working with a client in the transport sector who was keen to engage with their stakeholders on a new approach to contracting. The client was a large government organisation who used a diverse range of contractors across the state.

At one of the consultation sessions, the client representative was listening to some of the contractors discussing the proposal, when one of them said- “you know Tom, you are the ‘big hairy gorilla’ in this system, and we are effectively powerless…”

Tom was a bit taken aback and asked what he meant. The contractor responded that “you control the money, and even though you say you are giving up control with this proposed system, you really still have all the power”

I remember being surprised at the reaction of my client Tom. He was genuinely shocked to realise the impact that his organisation’s status and behaviour was having on his effort to share control – quite unintended from his perspective, but quite realistic and expected if you sat outside his “bubble”.

When talking to Tom later he said that he had actually seen the consultation as a meeting of equals. He was surprised with their reaction, and realised since that them seeing him as the gorilla has obvious implications for relationships and trust which could compromise his good intentions.

I reflected on this recently as we were discussing our topic of power for this month. I reckon it reveals a couple of useful insights about power and control:

  • we are often unaware of the impact we have on others
  • well intentioned plans can be unknowingly undermined by the perceptions of others
  • it can be hard to give up power if it undermines status quo

Are you sometimes the big hairy gorilla, and how would you know?